Insights

Last week I went on a work offsite - one of those team building events where you have to run around with people you don't actually work with, taking scavenger hunt photos of yourselves on Boris bikes and such.

I've never been a fan of these structured team-building exercises - if I'm honest, they fill the introverted side of me with dread. It feels like everything I hated about PE class. I probably sound like a real ray of sunshine right now.

But we did something interesting this time, which proved to me objectively and quantitatively that sunshine will never be a major part of my personality - we ran our Insights colour profiles. 

Insights is based on Jungian personality type theory and as such is similar to the Myers-Briggs Type Index. I've known since age 16 that I am an INTJ - the scientist/strategist type, great at assimilating reams of data and ideas into long-range plans and systems, not so great (read: awful) at doing detailed work with my hands or connecting warmly with others. If you've never taken the MBTI test, I really encourage you to do so as the profiles tend to be eerily accurate. Exhibit A: "When under a great deal of stress, the INTJ may become obsessed with mindless repetitive, Sensate activities, such as over-drinking."

So it wasn't a shock to discover my Insights colour energies are primarily Cool Blue (analytical, organized, objective) and Earth Green (encouraging, reliable, trusting) - both of which fall on the Introverted side of the spectrum. I have slightly less than the average amount of Fiery Red energy (demanding, driven, competitive) -- and unsurprisingly, almost no Sunshine Yellow (enthusiastic, creative, outgoing).

As wretchedly hand-wavey as this all sounds, it becomes a lot less fluffy when used as a tool to discover what motivates the members of your team, and to apply explicit strategies for relating to and influencing them. My boss is Blue/Red, and while I know we are both highly analytical, I have difficulty relating to his demanding Type A side. Insights recommends being brief and standing up for yourself when dealing with Red folks - "Be confident, strong and direct. Don't mistake Fiery Red's assertive manner for a personal attack." All good strategies that I've been figuring out for myself, but it's nice to have them spelled out.

I actually sprung for the spousal discount program to get Gracie's Insights report (he's Green/Yellow, the polar opposite of my boss). Glad I did, as the report gave me a lot of insight into the feelings and behaviours of the person I live with and thought I knew best. Maybe I'll write a post about Insights and relationships sometime.

For me however, the hardest part of this was seeing my weaknesses confirmed so openly in a 20-page report. 

• Others may find her cold and distant
• Can miss opportunities by being cautious around strangers
• May project a weak image, thus her invaluable contributions may be overlooked
• All work and no play
• Usually puts facts before feelings

"Felicity tends to withdraw when stressed. She may be seen by others as distant, unfeeling, sceptical, not interested in people and even arrogant - a perception that she finds difficult to understand. She uses her thinking to analyse the world, not to control it, but her reliance on thinking makes her appear impersonal and critical."

Slap in the face, much? It sucks, but especially after moving from engineering into PM, I've feared this was the case. I am a stone cold Blue/Green bitch (and I don't even want to go into how being a woman complicates the situation further). 

It's hard not to get depressed reading that account of yourself. But in the interest of kaizen and "waking up smarter", being aware I have this problem is the first step in fixing it.

I've come up with a few rules for myself:

1. Ask open-ended questions.

Just asking people questions at all is something that doesn't come naturally to me. Yeah, this sounds crazy for a product person who is keenly interested in people, behaviour and psychology. But I'm an observer. I worry an inordinate amount about prying into the personal lives of people I don't know well, and I can get most of the information I need if I watch and listen closely enough.

But I am genuinely interested in others, so I've been trying very hard to ask more questions. Sadly, they almost always come out closed-ended - "Did you have a good weekend?" "How long have you been in London?" Conversation killers, unless the other party is considerably more out-going than I am.

I once worked with an amazing designer and all-around lovely guy who had a habit of asking everyone "So, how does that make you feel?" We used to tease him about this pop-therapist quirk, but honestly, it works.

2. Greetings

The importance of proper greetings in Japanese society can't be overstated - working at a Japanese company forced me into the habit of greeting everyone with a "Good morning" and never leaving the office without speaking up to say "Osaki-ni shitsurei shimaaaasu" (sorry for leaving before you :p)

Now I'm back in a Western office environment, I find myself slipping back into lazy Western habits. Sitting down at my desk in the morning tired and undercaffeinated without a word to my colleagues and sneaking out the door quietly at 18:30.

I am trying to make a point of greeting everyone correctly whenever I can. Even the security dude at the door of our building gets a cheery "Good morning" from me, despite the terrifying amount of effort this takes.

3. The answer to lunch, coffee or beer is always Yes.

It's so tempting when you have a lot to do, just to grab a quick sandwich or sushi and head back to your computer. But conversations outside the office are crucial so I have a rule that I will always join in when invited out. 

I don't always follow this one - partly because I hate coffee. At least I love beer enough to make up for it. Next level shit would be actually doing the inviting but... baby steps, ok.

Am I the only one who struggles with this stuff? What colour energies are the strongest in your personality? If you don't want to spring for the report, you can usually figure it out roughly yourself - most people have "tells". Try it on your friends and colleagues. It's a useful exercise, if nothing else!